This is part three of a six part blog series of which I'm exploring Don Miguel Ruiz's famous work "The Four Agreements" of which he added one more in a later book "The Fifth Agreement".  If you would like a summary of all the agreements, have a read of this blog.

In this blog, I'm diving deeper into the second agreement and its application to Conscious Leadership: Don't Take Anything Personally.

If you haven't already read about the first agreement, go to this blog and start there.

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Some background first!

The four agreements (of which Don Miguel then added a fifth later on), are in Don's words "offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love."  They are concerned mainly with the agreements that you make with yourself. 

Therefore each agreement takes you deeper into integrity with yourself, which is an essential attribute for any Conscious Leader who is genuinely interested in creating positive change in the world.

The second of the agreements, Don't Take Anything Personally, adds to the foundation laid out by Agreement One: Be Impeccable With Your Word and sets you up for the next agreements:

Agreement Three: Don't Make Assumptions.

Agreement Four: Always Do Your Best.

Agreement Five: Be Sceptical, But Learn To Listen.

So let's dive in.

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Agreement #2 Don't Take Anything Personally.

Pretty self explanatory right? I remember when I heard this for the first time, and I vowed to myself to do this. Honestly, it was life changing!

As a former "victim" of an "unfair" world, I took a lot personally, which meant I lived a really difficult life. Everything and everyone was against me! Look! I just found "proof" by what that person said to me!

The key here is to look at the word "personally" - ie. personal. Your interpretation (and therefore experience) of the world, is personal.

That is:

• The way that you experience the world is unique to you AND

• The way you experience the world is UP TO YOU.

Your lens of the world is created by your past experiences, societal influences, level of consciousness - so much. You have a unique lens of which you see the world through. Thankfully because YOU are the centre-point of that lens, YOU can change YOU.

You have a unique lens of which you see the world through. Thankfully because YOU are the centre-point of that lens, YOU can change YOU.

So if you know that you are the centre of your lens, and therefore the interpreter of your world experience, then you can see that others are also the centre of their lens and therefore the interpreter of their world experience.

Everyone is experiencing the world differently, according to their own personal lens.

That is: Everyone is experiencing the world differently, according to their own personal lens.

So when you decide to NOT take things personally, that is don't make it about you, you change the way that you attune your lens and have an understanding that others are just seeing the world through the lens they have, that has nothing to do with you (even if the subject matter is you!).

To put it more bluntly:

• Decide to not make everything about you.

• Recognise that the world doesn't revolve around you.

As a Conscious Leader, it's so important not take things personally. So much time and mental energy is caught up with taking things personally, don't you agree?

Imagine for a moment if you were never to take another thing personally again. Can you feel how much energy and effort would be saved?

Imagine for a moment if you were never to take another thing personally again. Can you feel how much energy and effort would be saved?

When you can do this, you will find more of your energy and effort being directed to creating the world you DO want to see, rather than focussing on what you DON'T want to see.

And I guarantee that the world will seem a lot more friendly and a lot more good. By just doing this, you've started to create the kind of world you want to see - one of acceptance and harmony in differences that creates peace.

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So for your own reflection here are a few questions for you to answer:

• In what conditions do you find you take things personally? With whom, in what situations and in what areas of your life?
• How could you change those conditions, without changing the external world? What kind of personal/internal development would you have to undertake?
• What resources and support do you need to undergo this personal transformation?
• How do you think the application of this agreement in your leadership role would change your influence and impact?
• On a scale of 1-10 how important do you think this agreement is in developing yourself as a leader?

Comment below with your answers! I'd love to hear what you have to say!

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As was the intention of Don Miguel's work, these agreements first are to be applied to oneself, before applying to the outside world. I agree with this approach - I believe that to truly be in integrity, you must first be the embodiment of that which you want to create. This doesn't mean that you have to be perfect to start, it just means that you have to be doing the work, honestly. 

I don't believe that we ever get to the end of our spiritual and personal development, so instead of thinking perfection is the aim, think of your development as a journey of which you are fully committed to doing. Not only for yourself, but for the grand vision of changing this world for the better!

I don't believe that we ever get to the end of our spiritual and personal development, so instead of thinking perfection is the aim, think of your development as a journey of which you are fully committed to doing.

Once you've got your head around agreement two it's time to work on agreement three which is Don't Assume Anything!

Remember that each of these agreements are works in progress, with deepening layers as you become more adept and aware. So in your exploration and development, remember that you aren't going backwards if you find yourself working on the same agreement (again!).  You've just found another layer!

Here for your constant evolution,

Arohanui,

Nik Chung

Ps. I LOVE that you are a Conscious Leader! Want more personalised help to reach your leadership goals? Send me a private message on LinkedIn or email me on nicola@nikchung.com and let's chat!