If you haven't seen the blow up about gender over the athlete Imane Khelif at the Olympics, where have you been? Usually I stay right away from posts like this, because part of what I stand for and try my utmost to encourage, is peace. But when people are fuelling hate, it's time to step in and take a stand.

First, this article is not going to tackle the huge issue of transgenderism (or gender in general) in sports. But what I do want to do is use it to highlight what a Conscious Leader would do in this situation.

So a bit of background: If you haven't heard about Imane Khelif, she is a female boxer, who has come to the limelight through some wrong and hateful click-bait headlines that claim she is a male, participating in female sports. This has fuelled those in opposition to either transgender participants in sport in particular and the wider opposition of transgenderism, with a particular social media posts being wildly recirculated. I was going to link to that particular post, but I've decided against it, because let's not put more attention on the hate posts!

The thing is, as many have pointed out, gender is not as simple as high-school biology would have us think. I'm not going into the guts of this, because I'm not a scientist. However you can read this post here and this one here. The last post talks in particular to the situation with Imane Khelif - Please ignore the equally divisive language used, and just read the points the author brings up!

The wider issue of this whole debacle, is that of division.

Imane Khalif's fight has highlighted a bigger, insidious issue that resides in today's culture - the love of division. There are so many ways in which we can look to divide ourselves into "us" and "them". Gender is one of them. Race, religion, sexual orientation, social standing - literally ANYTHING can be used as a weapon of division.

When we have division, how can we have more peace and harmony in the world? It's impossible! Division leads to a hierachy, which leads to an imbalance of power, which usually leads to competition (as an imbalance of power, usually means an unequal distribution of resources).

Division leads to a hierachy, which leads to an imbalance of power, which usually leads to competition (as an imbalance of power, usually means an unequal distribution of resources).

We don't have to go far to see this - just look at your workplace. Where is the division? Where is the imbalance of power? Where is the unhealthy competition?

This is why we need more Conscious Leaders! A conscious leader, takes responsibility to empower their people, beyond their workplace. They care for the wellbeing of those they are so lucky to lead. Through their own role-modelling and creation of human-thriving systems, they create a more fulfilled and happy workforce. Which in the bigger scheme of things, means more peace!

This is why we need more Conscious Leaders! A conscious leader, takes responsibility to empower their people, beyond their workplace... which [leads to] peace.

So how do they do that?

Being Open To Other Perspectives

One of the core traits of conscious leadership is an openness to all points of view. This doesn't mean that you don't have your own point of view, but it does mean you can take in the point of view of others.

To be clear, this is not just about hearing (that is being able to use the sense of hearing) another's perspective, it's listening. That is paying attention and engaging your other cognitive abilities so that you can understand better and connect with others. Hearing is passive. Listening is active.

Being truly open, means suspending your point of view temporarily and having a willingness to be wrong. This allows you to truly listen what others are saying without the need for you to defend your point of view.

Being truly open, means suspending your point of view temporarily and having a willingness to be wrong.

Many people can hear in a conversation. They are the people who are simply waiting for you to stop talking so they can tell you you're wrong. Some of them don't even wait for you to finish, they'll just talk right over the top of you!

Few people listen. Deep listening is a skill that Conscious Leaders learn to be able to communicate better and understand their people better. As I talked about in this blog, about Don Miguel's five agreements, language is simply a symbol. If we only hear, we don't get to the real meaning beneath the words. If we actively listen, we can start to tease out the real meaning behind this symbol we call language.

Deep listening is a skill that Conscious Leaders learn to be able to communicate better and understand their people better.

One way of knowing whether you are listening or hearing is to notice the mind chatter you have while in a conversation. Do you have full attention on what the other is saying? Or are you cueing up what to say next, in your head? If you're the latter, you're likely hearing not listening!.

Being open, being a deep listener and being curious to what is really behind the words, allows Conscious Leaders to understand people better.

Compassion and Kindness

Teaming up with openness is one of the foundational keys of Conscious Leadership - compassion or kindness. If we can all navigate the world with a little more openness - that is a willingness to listen and hear other perspectives, and we can do this with kindness, we're on our way to living in a more peaceful, world! It costs nothing to be kind and your little act of kindness can make a person's day that much brighter.

Imagine if we had more Conscious Leaders who led like this? Imagine how many people's lives they would change? I always say, don't underestimate your influence as a leader in your workplace: If you choose to be, you get to be a positive influence on everyone around you. And if they took your lead, and were also kind to everyone around them.... Can you see how big that ripple is?

You may not agree with someone's point of view, even after deeply listening. But you can be compassionate. You can be kind. Having different points of view, doesn't need to end in fighting. It doesn't need to end in division. Compassion and kindness is a panacea to division. Use it liberally, especially when you don't agree with something.

Compassion and kindness is a panacea to division. Use it liberally, especially when you don't agree with something.

When compassion and openness occur, then that is when solutions that benefit all parties can come to fruition. Because all parties are able to listen and avoid defensiveness. Leaders who decide to lead consciously, are in a unique position to help create more equitable and empowering solutions and what better way to start, but right now, in the workplace.

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One of my personal goals, is to allow more peace and harmony in my world. I "allow" it by watching my own triggers and where I want to fight or defend and ask the question "what would the version of me that desires more peace do?".

I still have an opinion - I'm sure you see my opinion right here in this piece! But I do try my hardest to see from someone else's point of view. Expressing an opinion, doesn't have to be divisive. It can be done in a way that invites in different opinions. Remember, openness means that you are ready to listen and ready to be wrong.

Expressing an opinion, doesn't have to be divisive.

You also get to set boundaries too on who gets to participate in the conversation - only those who are open, ready to listen, ready to be wrong and can express themselves with kindness or at the least, without anger towards another. Even after all that, you may not change your mind. But at least you're more aware of how others think and can have compassion to another person's world view.

Just as we would offer compassion and kindness and openness to another, we should offer this to ourselves too.

Although I talk about compassion and kindness and openness, I am well aware that at times, I haven't been that. I'm not perfect - No human is. This is why the inner work that is required from Conscious Leaders, is often confronting. Because it shows you that you aren't as awesome as you hoped you were!

But it doesn't have to be so challenging. Just as we would offer compassion and kindness and openness to another, we should offer this to ourselves too. We offer this to the parts of us that haven't been perfect.

This division - it really resides within yourself first. When there is no peace or harmony in yourself, that's when you'll find something in the outside world to "fight against". The world is a reflection of you. You will find division and create division, only when you feel division in yourself.

When there is no peace or harmony in yourself, that's when you'll find something in the outside world to "fight against"

This is why the inner work is so important for you if you want to be a Conscious Leader who creates good in the world. First, create good in yourself. First, create peace in yourself. First, understand yourself!

So how would a Conscious Leader respond to divisive issues? First, do your research. Make up your own mind of where you stand, but also remain willing to be wrong. If you feel like correction is needed, gently and with peace at the forefront of your mind, do so. Don't add fuel to the fire.

Think carefully when you respond, is this kind? Is this adding to peace? Watch your own triggers. Watch your own defensiveness.

Become aware of the division and disharmony in yourself, and get to work on that. You may not be able to change the world right now, but you can change yourself.

As always, I'm here for your constant evolution.

Arohanui,

Nik Chung

PS. Want to talk more about how I can help your leaders become more Conscious ones?

Send me a DM on linkedin or email me on nicola@nikchung.com